‘I thought I was the problem’: Mum with late ADHD diagnosis shares story to inspire others
After years of grappling with self-doubt, Claire Quigley Ward’s life took a turn when she received an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 41.
From childhood struggles in school to navigating the complexities of parenting, the former Wandsworth resident of Santos Road has shared her story to show the unseen challenges faced by many women with ADHD.
“I’m afraid that your standards are more on the ‘average’ than the ‘good’ scale”, read one teacher’s note on Ms Ward’s Year 7 school report. Another remarked, “Your work is hampered by your personal lack of discipline”.
She said: “When you’re constantly being told you’re not meeting expectations, you internalise those messages. It chips away at your self-esteem.
“It made me feel as though I was inherently not good enough.”
Now with both her son and daughter having also received an ADHD diagnosis, the 44-year-old is dedicated to supporting others as she advocates for better understanding and acceptance of neurodiversity.
She said: “I didn’t realise that my experience of the world was different, that my brain worked differently.”
For more than three decades, Ms Ward struggled with feelings of inadequacy that were compounded by the pressure to perform in various aspects of life.
The turning point occurred during a particularly challenging phase in 2016 when she sought help for her young son’s behavioural challenges.
She said: “I took my son to the GP out of sheer exhaustion, desperate to understand his emotions and behaviour.
“I wasn’t going to the GP because I thought something was wrong with him, I was seeking help for me. I genuinely thought I was the problem.
“No matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work”.
Her son’s diagnosis of ADHD at age six-and-a-half became a key to understanding, not only his challenges, but also her own hidden struggles.
She said: “Back then, I didn’t know anything about ADHD, so I coped by learning as much as I could.
“As I started to discover more about ADHD, it was like everything about my own life began to click into place”.
In 2022, Ms Ward received her own ADHD diagnosis.
She said: “It didn’t just explain how I was as a child, it explained everything.
“Finally, I had the lens and language to describe my experiences.”
Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), a trait often linked with ADHD, was an important part of her journey.
She said: “RSD can lead to intense emotional reactions to perceived criticism or rejection. For many, including myself, it can create cycles of anxiety and self-doubt.
“Once I understood this aspect of ADHD, I could navigate my feelings and those of my child more effectively.”
Having relocated to Hampshire, Ms Ward founded ADHD Winchester in November 2021 as a support group for parents of children with ADHD.
She also became a certified ADHD coach and works one-on-one with parents, children, and teens to help them navigate life with ADHD.
She said: “I wanted to create an inclusive community where parents could share their experiences without fear of judgment.
“It has become a space where we support one another through shared challenges.”
In February 2024, Ms Ward launched the All Aboard ADHD podcast, blending key information from expert interviews and parents sharing their lived experience to help others feel less alone.
She said: “If I had understood ADHD earlier, it could have saved me years of struggling with self-doubt and low self-esteem. That’s why sharing these stories and providing an accessible platform for evidence-based information is vital, to ensure others don’t feel alone”.
To listen to the All Aboard ADHD podcast, please visit www.AllAboardADHD.com
Pictured top: Claire Quigley Ward has dedicated her life to helping others with ADHD after being diagnosed at 41 (Picture: Claire Quigley Ward)
